On Another Note: A fast moving day I thought will end in a disaster. But all good at the end of the day in my activity ( I haven’t opened the store yet so calling my business is not appropriate ). I got couple of old IT job calls asking me if I am available for work. I told … Nope… Tomorrow is another monster, meeting with county folks. They are not a group of people I want to deal with but as the owner of the shop, I have to be there. This is a day I wished I had more time. Maybe I need better time-management ideas.
Little Boss, you are one of my constant visitors… what I am about to tell you got nothing to do with any activity you have done on this site or based on your silence. There is a chance both my poetry site and this blog site may go away. I told some days back, the server fees are becoming too much to handle for me right now. I am thinking about many ideas but unfortunately, nothing gives me the independence of hosting sites on my own. I do own a server but the time and effort to host these sites will be too much for me at this point in my life. I am starting a store which will take a lot of my attention. Remember old times, like when I was working with you, I hardly wrote much, remember last year July through December? I hardly wrote much because I was working in Kansas/Missouri managing 3 smoke and vape shops. The owner of the shop told me he will help me get started with a shop of my own. That brought me back here in Milwaukee. You may have read some part of it here. But, I will do the best I can to keep this going on. One request, I hope you understand this in a positive way, don’t test me, don’t even try.. because I will fail. You don’t want someone you love to fail isn’t it? I love you dear.
On Another Note: The day started with utter confusion. Commercial contractors on one side, my investors on the other side, and county folks on another side. I talked to one party in this group… When the rest of them started getting on my nerves.. I took a blanket and put it on my head and slept till about 2:30PM. I don’t want to tell people things they don’t want to hear and don’t want people to tell me what I don’t want to hear. Like I always say, there is always a choice. Sometimes we have to make tough choices. The thing is whatever choice we make must bring balance to our life or we will be lost.
Little Boss, what did I tell you all these times dear, you love me more than I love you. After reading all these things you have read if you still have doubts the only person who can clear those doubts is someone “Much Older” than you… ME. hehehe… In this poem, I called myself “unworthy” for you. In a way, most men are unworthy for any woman. The worth comes to a man when the woman first tries her best to hate him then gives him her love. Looks like I am still stuck in the hate period. I do understand how you feel. I do understand the conflict within you about the love you feel for me spiritually which in no way you can explain to others, then those others in front of which you think I can never be the man in your life. Well, now you understand what can true love do to you. hehehe. I would like to sit in front of you with a smile and tell you all that I said, but that’s a paradise denied to me… I will keep knocking every day, who knows what tomorrow brings. I love you dear!.
On Another Note: Business Phone calls after phone calls in between I fell asleep then I woke up and more phone calls. I wanted to really go out, but blah, blah blah..more phone calls. There is a point at which I said to think.. “Hey I am trying to build a romantic life for me.”. No mercy expected, no mercy given by life. I finished one call and dropped the phone on my couch and said..”Still love you Little Boss”. Then I thought, what was I trying to accomplish with her all day? Go out to a city of thousands of people and look at every face to see if it is her? Even if it is her, what am I going to do? Stop her and try to talk to her? Reality at times can be a monster. But that reality is pretty strong around me now. In many ways, the realities around me must change…. I hope and pray… it is for the better. I hope and pray it changes by default. Or I will be forced to change this whole thing… which may not be very pleasant for many.
Little Boss, I didn’t expect a visible visit to my site at all. Hmmm, okay, thank you. Earlier today, my mind was saying “I don’t know what’s going on with this love life.” at least my mind says I have a love life. Daang… that’s where it all starts and that’s where it all ends. I was thinking in what way this reality we both are facing can be changed in my busy day. I ended that thought with what I said in the last line of the poem. “Still love you Little Boss.”. You know what that means, you may call me insane or ignorant or just a fool.. I have no clue what to do next. In my inward eyes when I look at myself, I am on my knees. Or to say in layman’s words. I am lost in you. Sorry dear, I wish I had better things to say but all that comes to my mind is in the last line of the poem. Good Night.
On Another Note: I slept after 9:30 in the morning… whew, lots of thoughts, some I wrote down. Some I don’t even remember. After waking up to the alarm. I ordered some food and sat and watched “Contagion”… wow how predictive that movie was. Then I don’t know I was trying to install some apps on my Android TV box and nothing is like Mobdro. It was a great app but the Indian Cricket Association complained against them and they were taken down by authorities.. One more reason to stay out of India. Bashi Bazhouks.
Little Boss, please read the poem dear. Really, read it… there is something that may either make you laugh or make you cry in this poem. I will leave it at that.
On Another Note: Nothing much to say about the day… very dry and empty. I thought about going out to the lakeside in the evening. Then dropped the idea and watched the show “Industry” in a marathon. Some wonderful acting. There are situations where people unnecessarily show nudity so it is not a family show. But very modern and wonderful scripts.
Little Boss, wow… I laughed a bit.. hmmm not a bit, a lot more than that. We really need to communicate. I know there is no way I can reach out to you as I am blocked. So you have to open some way and talk to me. The reason why I am saying this is, the guy you say you are in a relationship with was looking into my sites. I will tell you what he looked for. “Little Boss” in LonelyPoet.Com. It took him to a poem called “The Act Of Little Boss” as the picture has some similarities to you, he went to the blog and started going through pages and pages of my blog site. Tell him this, if he is going to read this whole thing it may take a couple of years to read the whole thing. To be honest, I don’t care about anyone reading the whole thing. People who know me already understand this is part of a relationship attempt from my side.. no one knows who is Little Boss. People who don’t know me think it is all part of a greater fiction. That’s not the issue… why would you even mention me to this man. Do you have any idea what kinda security risk this can bring to me? Do you know this man very well to tell anything about me to him? Please think about the consequences before you do things like this again… I don’t want any guy coming around my yard or stopping me anywhere in the city, looking to be a hero trying to impress the girl who smiled at him. So, please, the time for this game is over… if you keep on playing with VPNs trying to trick me, you already know it won’t work and these kinda misplaced actions can only lead to more people getting emotionally hurt.
On Another Note: Sad day, couple of decades back when I started LonelyPoet.Com and later the poetrybox.us sites.. I never thought there will come a time when I will no longer be able to afford to host these domains. Last year I moved PoetryBox to LonelyPoet.Com servers, now LonelyPoet.Com hosting is in trouble… This day I received a bill so huge. It only raised questions about almost everything in life. But it is what it is. I will do everything possible to hold on to them. God knows what will happen.
Little Boss, you should have never fallen in love with a poet. Because poets are usually people of poverty. But like I said in my previous paragraph, it is what it is. You love me and I love you. It is a reality we both learned to live with. Have a great weekend dear. I love you.
On Another Note: A day I realized, I should have been a lot more richer… Nope, I am not a rich man to afford something. I will need a cheaper option for something in my business. Other than that, it was a very calm day. Most people are very peaceful and pleasant. Hopefully, the tense environment we have had for more than a year is easing and it will continue to ease more for a better world.
Little Boss, this is a poem I ended with those words “Little Boss”. If you permit me I will use your first name. Legally I can use your first name but just because I can doesn’t mean it is right for me to use your first name. A question came to me… when we talked in the mall you were very angry about me writing about you on my site, even though I didn’t use your name at all. In fact, it was you or your relative from your hometown who used your name on my website. But, why? No one can ever say who it is I am writing about on my site. I never told you about it when we talked. It should be good guesswork or that African woman who told you about this. Anyway, now you know, I am a far better person than all those guesswork and opinions of really stupid people. Just wanted to let you know.
On Another Note: I don’t like my hands forced in any way.. Even though life is rough enough to force my hands most times. Well, today I was the one who was forcing the hands of some other folks. I don’t like that either…But when you are doing business, you better make sure the investors don’t lose money. Otherwise, I connected to an old friend. I don’t really feel at ease to talk much about it. But I hope I soon will feel at ease to talk better and more.
Little Boss, friends, family, friends who are like family, and family who are like friends all are good the problem with all of them is like what Erica tried, they will try to make decisions on your behalf. They may rudely intrude into your life at any time. The new face or name is not easy for them to tolerate. I have known how it all works. This brings to you a choice. Just want you to know, there are no advocates for me around you… That advocate is me, whom you read every day. I also want you to know, love comes like a season. But love is a season that lasts forever inside a person no matter what place they are in, no matter how many friends come and go, no matter how many relatives stand by them. Give the love you feel for me in you a chance… Please…
On Another Note: A dry day that dragged all over my face. That’s what I can say about this day. Well, when I eventually sat down I felt totally drained. Then when I opened the computer and saw some images of my darling girl. I thought it is worth living another 100 more years like this. The act of reading and writing took me from that point to finish the day.
Little Boss, Oh’, dear, my dear, my dearest, dear, What’s going on around you? I have no idea. I sense a change. I am not going to speak a lot more. But you should know, I will do the best I can if you need anything. My prayers for you filled with love.
On Another Note: Well, when you rest more than enough, you know what is going to come and hit you. Whew, but I am not tired of the happening life. For some reason this day felt like a very short day. Either I was moving fast through the day or I put my head into too many things. At this point of time.. It really doesn’t matter.
Little Boss, this is a day I said, “I did everything I can…” then I looked around and said, “I may have a lot more to do but I need Little Boss around me.”. I didn’t use the words Little Boss, I used your name. understand this dear, Life is a gift from God… Love is a blessing we earn. You earned that blessing from God through me.